Visiting Grammie

On Sunday, Randall, Ellie, and I took the afternoon to visit Grammie (Ellie's great-grandmother, Anne's beloved step-mother) at Hughes Home. Hughes Home is an assisted living facility which is just wonderful. The facility itself doesn't necessarily look like the most appealing place but let me tell you, the aides, nurses, and owners are loving and care about each of those residents. The love I have seen during my brief experiences there make me feel so good about Grammie being there-- and selfishly, it makes it easier to be a visitor. This brings me to a sidebar-- I think young children are very intuitive. I truly believe they are extremely sensitive to their environments and emotions around them. When we decided to visit we knew it would be after church. Ellie had been in the church nursery for two hours and our friend Norah who had nursery duty said "these babies are tired!" when Lindsey and I came to get our kiddos after the service. Norah's warning made me very hesitant about how Ellie was going to act during our visit. A tired, cranky baby + unfamiliar environment + the potential for Grammie to be very out of sorts (and perhaps make alarming noises)= a bad visit with no quality time. However, Ellie was an angel at Hughes Home-- the entire time. I think Ellie could sense the love and comfort there.

To make the visit all the more better Grammie was having an excellent day! The last time Randall and I went to visit Grammie was when we brought Ellie to meet her for the first time-- I believe she was only 3 or 4 months old. The day we went Grammie had a terrible day and was heavily sedated. It left a scar on our hearts and ever since we have sadly kept our physical distance from Grammie. This past Sunday's visit was one of healing and happiness for us, or at least for me, I shouldn't speak for Randall. Ellie was calm and cautiously curious. Usually, Ellie will cry and cling to me or Randall when she is uncomfortable. During our visit she was quiet and calm. She stared inquisitively and toward the middle of the visit she began to interact with Grammie by "high-fiving" her and blowing kisses and even doing the motions to "Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed" when I sang it.

Let me take a minute to talk about Grammie's state on Sunday. She was sleeping when we arrived and her nurse woke her up. I felt myself brace when we knew we were going to have a visit on the coat tails of a nap because my mind flashed back to our last groggy and disconnected visit. Well let me tell you this visit couldn't have been further from that fear. It was a wonderful visit where, while Grammie was still confused and babbled a lot, she was able to have some conversation which made sense and above all she smiled and laughed. I felt a connection with her when I looked into her eyes. I wouldn't be surprised if she had no idea who I was the entire time and will never be able to remember that we came, but, I'm telling you, there were moments when we looked into each others' eyes that I felt a connection. I felt love. It was a visit I will cherish.

Grammie played peek-a-boo with Ellie and made silly faces to make Ellie laugh and then it would seem that Grammie would laugh at herself. I may be overly optimistic about that but that's what I saw through my eyes- and Ellie seemed to agree that Grammie was playing with her. So sweet!

Our visit ended when it was time for Grammie to eat lunch. She had missed lunch because we came at lunch time. The nurses held her lunch for her but they had waited as long as they could so we could visit. We followed the nurse and Grammie to the dining room and when she was settled we said our good-byes. We snapped a good deal of pictures. I pray that we will have plenty more opportunity to take pictures with Grammie. But what I really want are more moments of happiness and peace for Grammie, and ultimately, I pray that we'll have her here on Earth long enough for Ellie to have memories of her--especially if they are as good for Ellie as mine will be of this particular visit.

As we walked out to the car we walked through the side patio which has a pretty long sidewalk. We let Ellie walk beside us but she seemed to take her sweet time instead of doing her best to keep up with mommy and daddy like she normally does. Ellie kept looking back over and over again to a resident and her visitor, perhaps a mother and her daughter, who were sitting in the annex. These two ladies were near to us for the majority of the visit enjoying a special lunch the daughter had brought in for the mother. The ladies waved through the large windows and Ellie blew kisses and waved back to them again, and again. A few steps forward and a few more glances, a wave or a kiss for the ladies, another few steps, repeat. It was incredibly endearing as a mother to see, and I think Ellie may have left an impression on those ladies too. Certainly a visit to remember.